So mum tells me its time to go bra shopping!
So mum decides it's time for me to get a bra. Not just any bra. My first bra! This is going to be so embarrassing. I spoke to my girlfriend she has one. I guess it's now my turn. Ok, what excuses can I make?
The ten excuses I make not to go!
- I don't feel well
- It's too cold ( I know I am not going outside with just a bra on but hey I can use this as an excuse can't I?
- I have homework (Ok I am getting desperate now)
- I have to go to a friends house to help her with her homework (I don't think she believed that one)
- I still have chores to do. (First time for everything)
- I have to clean up my room (Another first)
- Ok, can we do it tomorrow, please? (Delay Delay Delay)
- I really don't think I need one right now!
- I'm not sure what color I should get, let me do some research.
- Can I talk to my friend and find out which one she has. She is happy with it. (No idea if she is but I have no more excuses left)
Mum is talking at me about her first bra shopping experience. Me well I'm just trying not to make eye contact at this stage. Why does this need to happen? I am sure someone is going to see me from school. Oh, how embarrassing is this going to get? In my head, there is an endless stream of why why WHY!
Finally, we arrive at the shop, it's the one that mum normally goes to. I have never gone in there with her, so no surprise there. We park the car and go inside. Mum is walking quickly at this stage (probably in case I change my mind and run) it's not a long way from the car park.
We go into the shop and there isn't a lot of people around. Small blessings at last. She heads for the bra section and starts to fossick through all the different bras on the hangers. Why on earth are there so many different bras? There must be a hundred here. All colors, all different styles. Some with padding, some with just lace. How can she tell what I need right now?
She seems to find one she thinks will work and shoves it in my hands. Well, I nearly dropped it on the floor. I didn't want this in my hand in the open. SOMEONE MIGHT SEE ME!
She then pushes it to my chest and steers me towards the change rooms. I am thinking this is going to be ok. No one has seen me yet. Just hurry in!
I get into the change room, it's not very big and there is a huge mirror in the middle of the space. I can't even look at myself at this stage so I turn my back to the mirror even then it feels like someone is looking at me. This is the definition of self-conscious thanks, mum.
I hang up the bra on the hook and look at it. How on earth am I going to put this on? Confusion reigns supreme at this stage. I unhook the straps of the bra from the hanger. And start to look at the clasps or hooks or eyes what on earth? I unhook them all and then put it on the hanger again. Ok time to get this done.
Mum is calling out on the other side of the curtain at this stage. "Are you ok", " I haven't even undressed yet mum". I take off my top and slide the straps over my arms.
Ok, the front is kinda in place now how to I do up the back? "Mum, how do I do up the back now I have it on"? Well at that point Mum swishes the curtain back and pulls it back in place just as fast. Me horrified turns to the wall so no one can see me NAKED HERE MUM! Mum grabs the back and hooks it together somehow. OK, that's not comfortable at all. She pulls and tugs it, and then starts on the straps. Pulling up ever so tight that now my armpits are being assaulted by this thing. A bit more pulling and tugging and things seem to have calmed down a bit.
"Turn to the mirror," she says. "OMG mum". She turns my shoulders so now I am facing the mirror in a BRA standing next to me is my mum. So embarrassing. Mum says that looks fine. Ok take it off and stands there. "Can you go out please and...." before I can finish she swishes open the curtain and swishes it back so it's closed tight again.
Now I tried but now I can't undo the thing. I think I spun around a dozen times like that was supposed to help. "Mum, I can't get it off". Her she goes again. Swish she is in. She spins me around and unhooks me. I clutch it close because I don't want to be NAKED IN FRONT OF MY MUM! Swish she is gone again.
My face is so red at this stage I looked like the color of a bad sunburn. You know the one. I forgot the sunscreen and now I am paying the price. I put my top back on. I just want to get out now. Please rescue me from this torturous moment.
I come out and hand the bra back to mum. She grabs my hand and we make a very speedy exit towards the checkout. Ok, there are more people here now.
I remove my hand from her vice-like grip and walk a bit slower than her. So no one can put us together with a bra in her hand for all the world to see. Mum takes it through the register and they put it in a bag. Finally safe. We walk back to the car to go home. "Mum", "Yes", "Mum I still don't know how you put that thing on every day". "You will get good at it".
Check our next Braticles installment.